Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
