Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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