is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
