the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
