Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
sex in a hospital.. check
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
