I feel great
I just peed on a car
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
