So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
