He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
