Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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