I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
