omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm too high and old for this...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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