Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
