it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
