I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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