i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
not ubering you a puppy
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
