She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
