I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
that's an acceptable place to lick
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
