i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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