So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
