i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
