I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
