Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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