haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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