I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
