just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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