she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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