Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
