We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
