I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
