i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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