Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
All the doctor said was why
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
