Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
