he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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