She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
