you would pick up someone in the library
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize