She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
