It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm really busy with my period
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