You can't special order awesome
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
