She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
