Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
