I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
