The maid of honor just puked.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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