I hate all girls vehemently.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
