Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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