Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So. Much. Porn.
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