So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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