he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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