i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
