he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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