I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
