Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
