i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
