Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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