so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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