Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
