Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
