Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
