i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
