why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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