Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize