For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize