i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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