i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
