Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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