On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
