shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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