The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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