she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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