turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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