You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
