I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
