And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
