New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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