so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
