please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
