He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
