just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
