...so i touched it.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
